Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Another "Friendly" Email

There are times I wish that people came with a Karma-meter, which would sound a shrill alarm when they are trending towards the negative. My soon to be ex-wife sent me another pleasant email last night. Basically, though it started with the word "Please", it was a demand for money. She wants it deposited directly (as cash) into her account no later than today, going on to say that anything else is not acceptable. She also complained that I "made a big deal" about getting her account number so that I could deposit the money directly into it, then only did it once. She also said that she has no money and needed to buy pellets for the wood stove.

I realize that it's hard to put this in context without knowing more of the background. I'll give a quick recap, please forgive me if some of it's a repeat of what you've already read.

Begin Recap: Since my wife started this entire adventure I've been very responsible, providing her with literally half my net pay to support her and my son while things slowly dragged through the court system. That started in August. If you just look at it as what I'd owe in child support, she was getting about four times what I was required to pay under the state calculation. Since I'll end up paying for half of daycare also, it comes to about double what she would be entitled to. So, finally, after six months of doing this, my attorney and her attorney decide that's long enough to voluntarily overpay support, and we went down to an amount that is very close to what I'll end up paying after everything is final. That started with the last pay period.

She is clearly unhappy with this, she originally had the idea that she'd actually get more money than what I was paying her. While my pay was being direct deposited to our joint account she would just withdraw the money. However, when I changed my direct deposit to my new checking account I had to provide her with a check. Since a personal check would take days to clear and I didn't see the need to make her life more difficult I went the first time and got a money order for the money and gave it to her. She called me in tears the next day - the bank said that they were now putting 5 business-day holds on all cashiers checks, money orders and the like. She told me she had no money. Since this is child support and I want to take care of my son, I told her that if she gave me an account number I would deposit the next payment directly into her account as cash so she would not have to wait for it to clear. After that I started bringing her cash and making her write out a receipt. So for the last couple of months I've been going to the bank and cashing checks (the amount exceeds the daily withdrawl limit from the ATM) and bringing her the cash to make her life a little easier. I could just as easily given her an out of state personal check to meet my obligations - imagine the hold on that!

End Recap

So after doing all of this to make her life easier, I get this email. I love how she states I made a big deal about getting the account number. She conviently forgets that I've been bringing her cash only to make sure she has access to it as soon as possible. So what I've decided to do is send her a very professional (not sarcastic or angry) email, copying it to my attorney of course, explaining my side of all of this. I'll also mention that once our attorneys settle on an amount I will set it up through direct deposit to make it about as easy as possible. I'd like to think she will see reason sometime, but knowing her mental condition I doubt it will happen. The way she thinks there's always an ulterior motive to whatever I do.

Heh heh, I just had a funny thought. I was thinking about her theories and what she considers proof:

I have personal experience in hiding bodies (This is my favorite). Proof: I criticized the body-hiding abilities of murderers on CSI and Unsolved Mysteries.

I am having affairs with multitudes of women. Proof: Women are within 50 miles of my position (I'm assuming here, it could be 500 miles)

I am plotting to kill her. Proof: Husbands kill their wives on CSI and other crime shows, which we both watch. I also own a knife with a 3.5 inch blade.

I am scheming with certain members of her family against her. Proof: Members of her family and I have been seen conversing.

I was in league with our various marriage counselors, convincing them to work with me against her. Proof: Marriage counselors would start to question her actions and/or thoughts. When she accuses me of planning to kill her they do not immediately rush to her side and hold me at gunpoint for the police (OK, I'm exaggerrating a little with this last one...)

On a totally unrelated tangent, I've been in touch with several other bloggers, including Murphy (I swear I'm not a stalker, Murph), Chris (GoodHusband/Return to Happiness), and Chuck (What's Up Chuck) and find that we have a lot in common. Yes, this is a blatant attempt to ride the coattails of their blogging success... The best thing I can say about what I don't have in common with Chuck is that my wife never tried to poison me. And no, I won't go for the almost obligatory comment on her cooking, mainly because she was a pretty good cook.

Ha! I just remembered I wanted to post something that happened to me yesterday. I was at a gas station which was right next to a distribution hub for UPS. There were several drivers inside, and they were talking and joking with the woman behind the counter. She was giving far better than she was getting, and they were all having a good time. I was laughing and smiling along because some of their insults and comments were pretty damned funny. They were including me in some of it because the line was moving slowly. One of them told me to watch out for the woman behind the counter because she was a "tough old broad". She was no older than 25. One of the drivers told her to get moving because "that man's obviously got important places to be". I wear a suit and tie every day, the good being that it's cool to wear a suit, the bad being I'm constantly being accosted by angry customers in stores who think I'm the Store Manager. Anyway, I said "Don't worry about it, I'm just going up the hill", obviously meaning the UPS distribution center. "I'm from Corporate." It was suddenly deathly quiet in the store. The drivers looked distinctly pale. I looked up at the woman behind the counter, smiled and shook my head slowly. She burst out laughing and said to them "He got you!" The drivers loved it - it was a pretty good joke. At least these guys were not your stereotypical truck drivers, they were all about my size and dressed in the UPS uniforms. One of these days my sense of humor will get my ass kicked, but I wasn't worried about it with them.