Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Filling in some of the blanks

After writing so much recently it’s a little strange not having time to do it right now. I’m at a business meeting, and the only reason I have time to do anything now is that at 5am I woke up. There’s nothing really new happening right now, so I guess I’ll go back and fill in some of the blanks.

A lot of what I’ve written has been the negative side of things, and that’s a result of trying to explain what is happening in my life right now. There were good things also, however. I’d say the best of it all is my son. I’ve always loved kids and knew I wanted about 50 of them, but I had no idea how incredible an experience it was and how it changes your life and your outlook on life.

When my wife went into labor I stayed at the hospital with her – it was an incredible birthing center. I had a little cot to sleep on, but it didn’t get a lot of use. They decided to induce labor, but at about 2 in the morning the room suddenly flooded with nurses. I decided that it was time to get up and find out what was going on. It turns out that his heartrate would go down every time my wife had a contraction. They made a quick decision to stop inducing and to do a C-section. Everything was moving so quickly that my wife was scared. She kept asking if the baby was going to be ok – she was really scared and nobody was answering her. The nurses were so intent on what they were doing (which I have no problem with) that I’m not even sure they heard what she was saying. Not wanting to interrupt them doing their job, I waited until I saw somebody who was off to the side observing and went over and asked what was going on and what I could tell my wife. She told me what was happening, and that it wasn’t that serious now, but if they waited it could get serious. They didn’t want to take any chances, so it was decided to do the C-section. I explained it all to my wife, and that helped a lot.

The C-section went off without a hitch. They put him in the warmer and I got to sit and watch him as they finished the procedure on my wife. He had cried a little at first, but once they put him in the warmer he calmed down and was just looking around. Later on I got to go with him to be weighed and measured. He was not happy having his first diaper change. The nurse said he was “madder than a hornet”. We had a lot of family come in during the next few days and he took it all in so well.

I was really tired over the next couple of weeks, but I had it easy compared to my wife. When he’d wake up I’d go and change his diaper and bring him over for her. I wasn’t getting a lot of sleep, but I was getting more than her. I found that I could put him to sleep pretty well. He liked to be “walked” to sleep early on. He would get mad if I sat down while holding him, he wanted me to walk.

I remember the first time he smiled at me. It was one of those rare times that I was sitting with him and he was relatively content. I was holding him with my left arm and using the mouse on my computer with the right. I was rocking gently, looking down at him every so often and smiling. Suddenly I noticed him give me a big grin back. It was about the time the pediatrician said that he would start to interact more, so I’m pretty sure it was a real smile.

Now he never seems to stop smiling. Every time I pick him up for visitation he just lights up. He loves to play games, like covering my mouth with his matchbox car. If I take one of his cars I can chase him with it. I’ll tell him “it’s going to get your belly!” and bounce it towards him and poke him gently in the belly. I’m rewarded with gales of laughter! He also loves to point out trucks, tractors and busses as we drive around. If something really impresses him he’ll let out a “Oooohhhhhh” or a “woooowwwwww”. How can you not love a little boy?