Thursday, February 10, 2005

A Long update

It's been a busy week for me. Today there was supposed to be a big snowstorm here - the appointments I had scheduled were all cancelled. Instead it rained all day. Then, not too long before I'd have to leave for the hour and fifteen minute drive to see my son, the tempature fell below freezing and the rain that was still on the roads started to freeze. Then it started to snow. The weather report still says 1 to 3 inches, but there's already about 8 inches out on the deck. That's still far better than the 18-30 inches originally predicted. Anyway, I didn't get to see my son today. I've been sitting here doing a whole lot of nothing tonight.

I watched the movie Elf the other day. I didn't really have a Christmas this year, not just because of the situation with my wife, but because I got sick just before and ended up spending most of the holidays in bed. Elf was utterly hysterical, and I loved it. I did a lot of catching up in my Christmas Spirit watching it. Christmas has always been one of my favorite times of the year. Think of the movies you only see at that time: A Christmas Story, It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street. I could go on on on! And it's just after my other favorite time of the year: Thanksgiving. I spent Thanksgiving with family and it was great. Lots of turkey, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. Beyond that everything else is just gravy (no pun intended).

I've done a little thinking about what I want to do with myself in the future. I have to get my life straightened out of course, but that's already happening, and a lot sooner than most people thought it would. I have to get my finances in order - they've suffered pretty badly since this all started. I'll have to find a place to live closer to my son, the only reason I moved this far was to put some "safety" distance between my wife and I to make it harder to make up more stories. At some point we'll work out the distribution of assets and property and I'll end up with a lot of my stuff. I still have very little of my possessions. I've not been able to step foot into the house for months.

As for dating, before I get into that you have to know that I've been less a husband than a caregiver since my son was born. Sex pretty much ended during her pregnancy, and she would rarely even let me hold her hand. So it's been a long time since I've really been close to somebody. I started dating somebody about 2 months ago, and that has gone well. The hardest part for me is getting used to a "normal" relationship again. I'm finding out a lot of interesting things about myself and how living with a schizophrenic changed me. I still cringe when certain things happen. I was with my date somewhere and we had a friendly waitress. Not flirty, just friendly. With my wife this would have led to accusations of me having an affair with the waitress and a VERY long, vicious drive home. My date didn't even think twice about it. There are other things I'm sure I'll learn about in the future.

I've been doing some reading of several blogs, including Return to Happiness, Secret Exploits, and What's up Chuck. They're great reading. The others I've blogrolled are great as well.

The original title of this post was "A Short Update". Obviously that'll have to change. Sometime I'll have to write a lot more about myself - I'm learning all kinds of interesting things about other people, but I realized that I haven't really told people a lot about me and what I think about life in general.

Since I've been typing for about an hour it'll have to be another time. Heave a sigh of relief...