Thursday, February 03, 2005

What in the world?

I have no idea what happened, but it's been a busy day for my little blog. I got two anonymous comments that I'll have to figure out how to respond to, which really surprised me. I'd always had a few hits daily, but when I checked the meter just a few minutes ago it said that I'd had 43 today and 14 in the last hour alone. To the two anonymous posters from today (and the two previous from weeks ago), thank you.

Today was my visitation day with my son. It was just what I needed! I've always loved children, but I had no idea what being a parent could do to you - it is by far the best feeling in the world. When I picked him up he had a toy ambulance (he loves matchbox cars) that he just had to show me. I, of course, had a new matchbox for him, and he clapped his hands he was so excited. We drove to Friendly's and had some dinner. While we were waiting for it to come we played on the table with his cars. He was laughing and having such a good time that people were coming over from other parts of the restaurant to see what was going on. He took it all in so well - he kept showing everybody his cars and smiling. I'd hide a car up my sleeve and ask him where it went. He's learned that game, and it's one of his favorite. He'll look up my sleeve (I'm still wearing my suit and tie - otherwise known as the clown suit - from work) and see it and reach in and get it. He chowed at dinner - and insisted at one point on feeding himself. As we were getting ready to leave a pretty woman sat down at the table behind us and he was suddenly mesmerized. He said hi to her and she turned around and said hi back. He suddenly turned bright red and hid his face in my shoulder. I was amazed - he's never been this bashful. It only took a minute or so for him to go from bashful to full-out flirt. Full-out flirt for him is a huge smile, saying hi multiple times, showing off his cars and occasionally pointing at me and saying "daddy" to make sure she knew who I was.

As we were leaving he insulted another child I'm sad to say. Whenever he sees a baby in a carriage, he says "baby" and points. That has expanded now into kids up to around 8 years old. This poor little boy was horrified that he had been called a baby. His parents and I were having a hard time holding down our laughter because to their son this was serious business indeed. I decided it would be a good idea to retreat before he rallied his forces and attacked.

We next stopped for ice cream, because in my family it is a genetic weakness. I'm certain that the Human Genome Project will discover the Ice Cream gene. We ate some, but he had eaten so much at dinner that he wasn't interested in eating too much of it. He did get interested in the video games that were there, so we spent about a half hour at them. He thought that Ms. Pac-man was especially entertaining. We would count the ghosts as they came out and he would yell out "go!" as the demo started. "Uh-oh" would come every time Ms. Pac-man was caught.

I think the best part for me tonight was that he's decided he likes to hug me. It's the best feeling in the whole world.

When I brought him back he was very happy to see his mommy. She was not nearly as happy to see me. I thought it was because she had read the email I sent her, but after talking to her it was apparent that she hadn't read it yet. She was angry because of the amount of money I gave her. Her attorney is on vacation, so my attorney has been unable to talk to him for a week or so. She told me how much to bring this time, since we are going to a more reasonable amount that her attorney agreed to prior to going on vacation. Once I realized how much she wanted in child support and daycare (I will pay half) I thought the problem would be solved because it's pretty close to what my attorney told me to expect. However, my wife went on to say that the amount didn't include what she'd need to pay off her debt. It turns out that she is still thinking that she is going to keep all the assets (like the condo and all the equity in it) and that I'm going to take on a significant amount (if not all) of the debt. Instead of arguing I told her she should talk to her attorney. I didn't want to get into a discussion about it with her with no witnesses present.

One of the anonymous comments implored me (rightly) to be careful in what I write to my wife in email. I completely agree. It took me about an hour to write the email because I was being so careful to make sure it wasn't threatening in any way. I have to be careful not just because she's demonstrated a willingness to lie, but because she's extremely paranoid. Which rolls right into anonymous comment number two. Is my wife schizophrenic? I am not qualified to diagnose, but she's showing some of the symptoms. If she were evaluated today I think the worst they could say is that she's borderline. As I understand it, schizophrenia isn't just something you become overnight. A decline into schizophrenia is sometimes "triggered" by an extremely stressful life-event. The decline can take quite some time. There are several different types of schizophrenia. My mother-in-law was institutionalized for paranoia, and my wife's paranoia is my biggest cause for concern. For a while she was sure that her boss from her last job was going to come and kill her, and she still is very fearful of him to this day. Now I will admit he was a jerk, but I don't think he was planning to come kill her. I was accused of having affairs at least daily, with neighbors, coworkers, her relatives, even at one point a man (don't ask me why, I have no idea). When the show CSI started she started saying things like "you know if you kill me they'll figure it out". After watching Unsolved Mysteries one day I commented that I thought it was funny that the narrator would always say that the person "made a gruesome discovery". I also thought that one CSI show was particularly stupid because the criminals dressed a body up in a wetsuit and threw it in a tree in a forest fire so it looked like an urban legend come true. I had no idea that these comments would lead to my wife believing (and telling people) that I had a knowledge of ways to hide a body that could only come from experience. I could go on an on about the strange things she did and the increasing level of suspicion she held me in, but I'm sure you get the general idea. Her behavior is strange, even bizarre, but I don't think she's declined into full-fledged schizophrenia yet.

I suppose I should post this, as I've been sitting here typing for about an hour now. God knows I need my beauty sleep.