Tuesday, March 08, 2005

I Was a Teenage Criminal

I was not always the mild-mannered, Simpsons-watching, ice-cream-eating man who types before you. I went a little wild when I lived in Florida. Luckily I never did anything bad enough to actually end up in any legal trouble, though I was close. Most of the things I pulled were practical jokes. I figured since I had nothing major to type about I’d tell you about one of them.

At the end of our street was a trailer with a fenced in yard. The main breaker for electricity was in a box on a pole out in the yard. My friends and I decided to have some fun with the guy who lived there. One night we jumped the fence, opened the box and turned off the power. We hid across the street in a ditch and listened while he stumbled about in the trailer. He probably checked the breakers in the trailer before he looked outside and realized that everybody else in the neighborhood had power. He eventually came outside and finally figured things out. The whole episode lasted probably a half hour. We thought this was one of the funniest things we had ever experienced.

So we decided to go back the next night and do the same thing. And the next night. And the night after that. Yes, he caught on. The first time he opened his front door and yelled, though he had no idea who we were or where we were hiding. This escalated to him opening his front door and shooting a cap gun into the air. We really thought that was funny.

So one night we jumped the fence and found that he had placed a padlock on the power box. We were a little angered by this. After all, who the hell was this guy to keep us from having our fun? We went home and picked up two pairs of visegrips, returned to the scene of our fun, and broke the lock. Man, he was extra mad that night.

The next time we went we found an even bigger lock. This time we went a little further. We broke the lock, turned off he power, closed the box and put our own lock on it. I can only imagine how angry he must have been, coming out to turn the power back on and finding that he was locked out of his box. We lay in the ditch nearly choking because we were trying to stay quiet while laughing so hard. The laughter died a little when we heard the sirens. By the time the police arrived we had beat a hasty retreat. We decided not to go back after that.

Just on the off chance that our friendly victim might be reading this – I apologize. No need to come for any revenge, ok?

It’s nice to be able to post something relatively innocuous. Hope you don’t feel disappointed.