Friday, March 25, 2005

Petty Vengeance

Every so often you do something despite your intellect telling you that it's a lost cause. It doesn't matter that you've failed in every attempt before that, you just decide to try again. Every attempt I've made to make things easier for my STBX (Soon-To-Be-Ex) has gotten me exactly nowhere. Let's just take a look at the financial aspect of our divorce. I've gone far further than most men would have to make sure that my child was supported. I paid my STBX half of my pay for 6 months, that's $1700 per month - about 4 times what she was entitled to in child support. I'm paying just under half that now because I pay half of the daycare expenses on top of child support.

It's not been easy for me financially to do this, but I'd much rather I suffer than my son. It's gotten better since we reduced the payments to child support and daycare expenses, but I've got some catching up to do. On the Day of Ambush my STBX cleaned out the bank accounts, she'd been paying more and more on her credit cards in the months before to build up a reserve, she took an extra $1000 out of the blue before I could get direct deposit changed. She didn't have to pay for her attorney - she convinced her father to do that. She's not exactly been short of money since this started. Her biggest problem is that she was either unwilling or unable to get a job for almost 6 months.

When it came to actually getting the money to her, I went out of my way to make sure she got it without delays. After I finally got direct deposit changed I didn't want a hold delaying things, so instead of giving her a check I got a money order. She called me in tears telling me that the bank had put a hold on that also. From then on I paid her mostly in cash (getting a receipt) so that there was no delay in her being able to use the money. Even with that she'd send me emails demanding the money sometimes even before I'd been paid, saying that her bank balance was negative and that she did not have money to buy groceries.

You've heard all of this before - why am I complaining about it again? Well, today I got a letter that my attorney forwarded to me from her attorney. It read:

My client has indicated she hasn't been receiving child support payments on a consistent weekly basis. I would ask that you urge him to be on time each week as XXXXXXXX is dependent upon this income. Being paid in a timely fashion.

The mistake in the last sentence is his, not mine. Also, what you don't see because I X'd it out is my STBX's name - which he got wrong. Attention to detail - it's what makes a good lawyer...

So let's see, I pay her bi-weekly when I get paid, so I'm paying that week on time, and the following week early. What really gets me is that on Monday the 14th I found myself near a branch of my STBX's bank, the nearest of which is about an hour from my house. I decided that even though I hadn't been paid yet I'd go in and deposit the money directly into her account so that she wouldn't have to wait until Thursday to get a check. I certainly did not have to do this - my attorney has told me that it is perfectly acceptable to give her a check when I pick my son up on Thursdays. So I deposit the money a day early and at the end of the week her attorney's writing my attorney a letter complaining that she's not getting paid on a timely basis.

Petty little things like this really annoy me. It's not that she's trying to get me back for how well the mediation went for me - the letter was sent to my attorney five days prior to the meeting. I'm willing to bet that she never told her attorney that I paid early the Monday before he sent the letter.

I wonder how much it's costing to get this tiny little bit of satisfaction for her.