Friday, June 17, 2005

This Deserves A Post All It’s Own…

I had a great time with my son last night, and I learned an important lesson that I’ll have to remember when I have more children. Never play “I’ve Got Your Nose” with a two-year-old.

I’m sure some of you out there are imagining him breaking out into tears and crying, but that’s just not my son. He is an amazingly happy little boy. We play different games all the time and he is always got a smile on his little face.

It all started when we sat down to eat last night at Friendly’s. We had already ordered, and once that’s done my job is to keep him entertained and distracted until the food arrives. He had ordered his favorite, Macsheese (with hot dogs), and kept telling me that he wanted it. Don’t ask me what made me do this, it was just a spur of the moment type thing. I reached up, put his nose between my fingers and pretended to pull it off. For those of you living in some remote part of Alaska, or, say, Killeen, Texas, you then put your thumb between the knuckles of your index and middle fingers to simulate an actual nose so you can tell the child that you have it.

I don’t know what I expected, but when he saw that I had his nose, a look of delighted surprise came over his face – the smile alone said volumes. It reminded me of Calvin in Calvin and Hobbes (ok, I looked, but couldn’t find a good example on google). The look said “Daddy took my nose! I had no idea it came off!” That look was funny enough. He then said “Again!”, so I did it again. His delight grew and he started laughing.

Then the real fun started. I went to do it again, and he held his arm up to stop me. He said “I wanna do it”, the same thing he says when he wants to feed himself, hold his own drink or otherwise assert himself. He then reached up, grabbed his nose between his thumb and forefinger, and pulled. His pulled his hand away from his face and looked down at his fingers. Not seeing anything, he opened them. Then he thought that he might have dropped it, so he looked under the matchbox car on the table. Then he looked under the table. Meanwhile, I am nearly in hysterics laughing. People were beginning to stare.

He tried again, a little less gently and looked at his fingers again. Nothing. I realized I had to put a stop to this before he actually pulled hard enough to hurt. A couple at the next table had seen the entire incident and were trying really hard not to laugh. The woman was actually turning red trying to stifle her laughter. Thank God I had a car in reserve. I pulled that out and within thirty seconds he’d moved on from his pre-school plastic surgery attempts.

I thought about telling the STBX about the whole thing so she’d know why he was trying to pull of his nose (or hers) later this week, but I figure she’ll try to claim I was teaching him to hurt himself or some other nonsense. I think I’ll keep this one to myself until he’s a teenager.