Monday, June 06, 2005

What A Weekend!

My son and I had a great time this weekend, with one exception. The stupid air conditioner in my car. I’m pretty sure it’s the temperature control slider that’s actually the problem because the compressor still comes on, but I couldn’t get any kind of cool air out of it at all. It was not a pleasant drive back. Other than that it could not have gone better. Yesterday we played with his cousins, who he got along with great. He had a bit of a hard time sharing his favorite car, but that was the biggest issue. He woke up yesterday morning at about 4 am, but went right back to sleep once he realized I was there with him. I think he just got scared waking up in a strange place. He woke up yesterday at about 7:45 or so, and was happy as a clam.

We were going to play outside in a small kid’s pool they had, but between the heat and varying nap schedules between his cousins and him we never got the chance. He took a long nap and when he woke up he was in a great mood. I asked him if he had had a good nap, and he told me “yes”.

I think the funniest thing that happened this weekend was my brother moving my car. We were watching out the window and he saw it start to move. He said “Hey! That’s my Daddy’s car! Nooooo!” and started to cry. I thought at first it was because he thought I was in it, but he was still upset when he realized I was still there. I’m not sure what he was getting upset about, but I told him it was just moving over to the shade to park and he saw it happen he stopped crying.

My brother and sister-in-law had a good time too. He got over his shyness with them very quickly and started having fun. My nephews were a handful – very well behaved and a lot like my son. When he’d get upset (like when he started crying when one of them was playing with his favorite toy) they’d come over and comfort him by patting his back.

I am so happy to be able to finally spend some time with my son like this. He seemed to have just as much fun as I did, maybe more. I felt like a dad again – he wanted to be around me the whole time, and there were just a very few short times I could be in a different room from him before he’d come running in smiling to drag me over by the hand to play. He wouldn’t get upset, he’d just want me there, it was a great feeling.

The STBX handled the homecoming very well I’m happy to say. She was a little disbelieving that he slept until 7:45, but that was it. She called me a little while after I dropped him off and asked me some general questions, nothing I felt was out of the ordinary. It was the longest phone call we’d had since this had all started.

Today is the first day in almost a week that I’ve had my place all to myself again. I’ve had to clean up from my mother’s visit and get back to my job search. I want a job! It’s not just the income, right now I just want to be out there doing something. I want to be saving money again, to be figuring out where I’m going to be in a few years and how I’m going to get there. I want to have a much more private place to live. I have to start with a job, though. My biggest motivator? My son – I have to be prepared to make some moves in his best interests if need be. If nothing else, just to be able to be there for him if I need to be. Despite all that I’m going through and how down I feel about it sometimes, I’m a lucky, lucky man and I definitely lead a charmed life. I’ve got a little boy who has to be one of the best children ever, I’ve got the chance to start over career-wise, and I’ve got the chance to start my life pretty much all over. How many people end up in this exact situation and see it as a bad thing?