Friday, July 08, 2005

What A College Degree Gets You…

I suddenly thought of a couple of my favorite words tonight. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about, a word that just cracks you up because of the way it sound. My personal favorite is the word carcass. There’s just something about the way it sounds. Car-cass. Say it with me.

Another is the word Shenanigan. Whenever somebody tells me about their “antics”, I tell them that I stay away from antics, and that I’m strictly a shenanigans man myself. They usually look at me like I might have had a stroke or, more likely, a lobotomy. Regime – another good one. Maybe because I’ve always had a fascination with world domination. I like to joke sometimes that I’m going to leverage email (or some other inconsequential thing) into world domination. Yet more lobotomy stares.

One word I heard that I thought was outstanding really isn’t a word. It’s Dorktacular. I read it in a Match.com profile many, many months ago. I wrote her an email (she was an opera singer) and mentioned how much I liked the word Dorktacular, and mentioned that I might steal it for my profile. She never wrote me back. Shouldn’t have mentioned the shenanigans thing I guess.

The Hot Librarian mentioned that she liked the word Hobnob the other day. She’s certainly got a shallow cool-word vocabulary. Anybody will tell you that Hobnob is nowhere near as cool a word as Carcass.

I used to like Moronathon, until I heard that Beavis and Butthead marathons were called Moronathons. I was pissed – I mean, those two clowns steal my word?!?

The last one I’ll leave you with (in order to save your sanity and any credibility I might still retain) is not really one word. I’m sure many of you have heard the term Power User used to describe somebody who is knowledgeable about computers and uses more of the features than most. The term describes somebody who is on the other end of the spectrum from the Power User: the Power Loser. Yes, this is the kind of person a Writ of Habeus Loser would be issued for (see this post).

I’m sure many of my old English teachers are experiencing a mysterious pain about 2 inches in from the center of their foreheads as I write this. So, to make my vengeance complete, I think I’ll repeat all the words, sit back, and imagine them suddenly grabbing both sides of their head and wincing.

Oh, Mrs. Morgan (my second grade teacher, and yes, she's still around. She's undead): My latest shenanigan involved a dorktacular carcass and a Power Loser. And by the way: Moronathon.

Ahhh, sweet justice.