Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The First Sacrifice Has Been Accepted!

I went out to examine the hornet nest today and found that it was gone! There were small pieces of it on the ground, but nothing more. I could find nobody who would admit to have taken it and I believed them because nobody had any stings. Bald-face hornets don’t play games – they are mean little bastards. They can throw down. I am going to assume that Thor is responsible and that he took the hornet nest with him when he accepted it as a sacrifice.

I’ve gotten a lot of interest in the sacrificing of various relatives, so I thought I’d go through some of the rules of my Relative Sacrifice Program.

  1. You are only responsible for paying the shipping of your relative(s). There is no cost for the sacrifice itself.
  2. Due to the disappearance of the hornet nest, they can no longer be involved in the sacrifice.
  3. All are welcome. No need to ask me if I accept relatives who are once-removed or distant relatives.
  4. Please specify in the shipping paperwork whether the sacrifice should be quick or slow and painful.
  5. Please specify in the shipping paperwork whether your relative(s) should get an indoor or outdoor cage.
  6. I suggest accepting the shipping insurance that Fedex/UPS/Airborne Express etc offer. That way if your relative(s) is damaged during shipping you will likely end up with enough money to send another.

Many thanks to everybody for their interest in my new Program!