Friday, August 19, 2005

Thor, God of Thunder and Rubber Mallets

I’m blaming the Norse God Thor for the last few days. I’m quite sure he’s smiting me for my insolence. I’m quite surprised, actually. I had no idea that he would get so mad at my photo manipulation. I’m trying to decide which of my relatives would make a suitable sacrifice to appease him.

He may also be behind a discovery that was made not ten feet from the back porch. A bald-face hornet nest just a bit bigger than a basketball. The guy who mows the lawn here has been stung several times in the last couple of weeks and I guess now we know why. This particular kind of hornet will usually leave you alone unless you approach their nest, of which they are particularly protective. Somebody came over and sprayed the nest down with insecticide and it seems to have done the job. If I’d known he was coming I would have set up my camcorder and recorded the whole thing. I understand there was some comical jumping around and flailing as he did this. Why didn’t I spray it down? Because I’m smart enough not to go messing with hornet’s nests that have not explicitly threatened me. Now, if they’d said “Erasmus, we’re going to get your ass” I’d have had to respond. I certainly would have come up with a better plan than standing 10 feet away and spraying it with a can of wasp killer. My plan would have involved one or more of the following:

  1. A beekeepers suit
  2. Hired goons
  3. A grenade
  4. Napalm
  5. A Weedwacker
  6. My circular saw (because, damn it, I just don’t get to use it enough)
  7. My landlady’s Bichon Frise (the white dog that must die)

In other news, it’s an exciting Friday night here at Casa de Erasmus. Right now I’m watching Pale Rider on AMC, and I have an exciting night of Law and Order planned. My weekend plans besides seeing my son are pretty lame. There aren’t any. Tomorrow I think I’m either going to go see a movie or rent one. I’m leaning towards renting one because I want to watch Sin City which came into Blockbuster this week. I’ve got to get out of the house, however. Not having a job I seem to spend much too much time here.

I heard from the potential job again today – another delay. They tell me I should hear sometime early next week. They want to filter through some more resumes, which I’m not thrilled with, but I’m still in the running. I have an interview with another company next week, but I’m a little skeptical of them. The answers I got from the interviewer on the phone were not comforting. I won’t go into the specifics, but I’ve found that there are a lot of companies out there who are questionable at best.

Damn. I’ve seen this Law and Order.

I wonder if Thor will accept the wasp nest as a retroactive sacrifice.