Friday, October 14, 2005

A Stressful Day

Today could have been a better day. Have I mentioned that I have a gift for understatement?

My (I thought) ex-attorney left a message for me recently, saying that she had not submitted the papers to be removed from the case. She has suddenly become interested in giving me another chance. I strongly suspect this is because she heard I have found a job and she sees dollar signs. I found the message she left very annoying because she started out with something along the lines of “I think I understand what’s going on. I think you just don’t want to be divorced. It’s ok, a lot of people go through this.”

I say annoyed now, but at the time I was furious. She knows exactly why I don’t want the divorce to be final, because I told her. I told her on the phone. I emailed her about it. There should be no question in her mind. I am not satisfied with the financial agreement, and I’m not satisfied with the visitation schedule.

I heard from my STBX about the coming court appointment, not the attorney. I got a message from the STBX that both her attorney and “my” attorney wanted me to call her. So I did. I called and left a message. It was not a very nice message. I told her I was annoyed because I had told her both on the phone and in email that I was not ready because of the two issues I mentioned in the last paragraph. I told her that I was going to be at the court date and that I was going to bring the emails with me.

I called the STBX’s attorney today too. He was quite hostile. I learned some interesting things, though. My ex-attorney told him that she had informed me many times about the last court date, which is an outright lie. I told him that I didn’t think that my ex-attorney was telling him what I was passing on to her. I asked him if she had told him that I was not satisfied with the agreement or the visitation and he hesitated. Then he said he had been told by the STBX, avoiding answering me about the other attorney. He told me that no matter what they are going to go forward with the case next week. They are going to ask for judgment because he feels (because of what my ex-attorney has told him) that I’ve held things off long enough.

I called my ex-attorney four times today, and did not get an answer or a call back. I think she’s trying to put forth an appearance of being professional while avoiding being responsible for what she hasn’t done.

With everything going on in my life I haven’t gotten to filing the complaint about my attorney, so that is going to be high priority this weekend. I’m going to get everything together, including all my phone records, which will show exactly when she’s called me. I’m hoping to go into court next week and be able to show that I have not been informed about court dates until the day before they occurred. She is going to talk about how I’ve not been timely in calling her back and communicating with her in general, and she does have a point there. I want to show the judge that I’m not trying to waste anybody’s time – that if I’d been given more than one day’s notice I could have come to the other hearings. I’m also worried because I haven’t done everything I should have done. I was supposed to take a parenting class, but I haven’t done it. I had planned to do it earlier this year, but after I lost my job I put it off because I didn’t have the money to pay for it. I had also planned to take it after I got my first paycheck but ran out of money because of the car repairs. So I’m also hoping that I won’t get too slapped around for not having this done.

I’m worried that it won’t go well despite the proof I will bring with me. My ex-attorney is well-known and my proof and arguments may fall on deaf ears. Of course, if she told the judge something that wasn’t true that can be shown by what I bring with me, then maybe it will go well. I have felt for a while that she was not being very honest with me and her advice at some points was beyond incompetent. I think she’s been portraying herself as doing everything right, which is definitely not the case.

So, back to today. This morning I called the attorney many times and spoke to the STBX’s attorney who was quite rude to me. I was not getting called back, and all I could think about was how I have to be in court next week. I was getting very stressed out over the whole situation and the conversation I had with the STBX’s attorney. I wasn’t feeling good at all. I was struggling to keep calm, and finally managed to get to a point where I wasn’t so stressed about it. It’s not easy to maintain that.