Saturday, October 08, 2005

Today I Met With The Enemy

In the recent past I guest posted at Samantha Burns in an attempt to forestall the coming Canadian invasion. Today I took another step forward in that grand vision. I met with LaLa, her son and her friend Julie (who is also Canadian). LaLa claimed that she had come down to visit her friend Julie and shop for maternity clothes. My suspicions remain. We had lunch and talked about blogging with Julie, who is not one of us. At least in this Canadian Invasion Force assigned identity. In her real life I’m sure she’s got a secret blog somewhere detailing her invasion plan exploits.

I am a terrible “local”. When I asked LaLa if she had anything in mind for lunch she said no – you’re the local. So we talked a little bit and decided to meet at Outback Steak House. Because of rain and some unexpected construction I was a little late. When I pulled into the parking lot I knew something was wrong. The parking lot was empty. This local didn’t know that Outback isn’t open for lunch.

At that point there should be a relatively easy solution. You call the person. However, I realized that I had foolishly not brought her cell phone number with me and had only given her my home phone number. I did remember, however, that they were driving a Canyonero. I drove to Pizzeria Uno, which was nearby. There were two Canyoneros in the parking lot, so I figured I’d head inside and see if they were there. If I’d been thinking I would have just looked at the license plate of the first Canyonero, which was from Ontario. It was pointed out to me after I got inside.

So we had a fun and tasty lunch and talked about all kinds of things, including the real reason that Canada want out land: they all live in apartments. LaLa’s son was very nice. He was funny and was looking forward to visiting Target after lunch. He looked entirely too comfortable on the barstool across from our table for a 12 year old.

I thought afterward that we should have called our meeting the US/Canada Civilian Peace Summit. After the invasion, no matter how it ended, my place in history would be assured by my peace-making efforts. Someday I’m sure my guest posting over at Samantha Burns will be viewed as the first attempt in avoiding Canada’s War of Aggression.

I’d say the Summit was a huge success. There was much laughing and the food (at least mine) was wonderful. And if Canada does not invade, then it is clearly because I prevented it.