Friday, December 23, 2005

The Christmas Season, Past and Present

So. Let’s see. Where to start catching up? It’s funny, there’s been about a thousand things I’ve wanted to post about, but now that I’m trying to type something out, few of them come to mind.

I’ll start with my job. It’s going great. I’m coming up to speed very nicely, and I’ve already had my first performance review. It was very vague since I’ve only been here a couple of months, but there were some nice things in the Comments section. My manager thinks I’m doing well, and says I’ve got a great attitude. That’s a pretty good place to start. I’m learning a lot, but I still feel like a babe in the woods. I’m having to learn in detail things that I had a general idea about before – things like OSPF, Diffie Helman groups, public key infrastructure – the list goes on. Believe it or not, I find this kind of stuff fun.

The Ex continues to have problems with her family. Her brother and his wife have distanced themselves from her because they feel she’s “playing the victim” or something like that. She doesn’t respond well to being ignored, so I can imagine this is driving her up a wall. I worry about the stress on her, because stress can bring on declines in schizophrenics. She has the stress of her job loss and the resulting hunt (which I’m pretty familiar with myself). She’s also got some of her family alienating her and the issues with me not following her orders as to health insurance for our son. She’s also recently found out that her grandmother has cancer, though I’m not sure how serious it is. She just come out and told me that one day – I don’t know what she expected when she told me. So there is a lot of stress on her, whether it’s from real sources or imagined (like whatever she thinks I’m getting by putting our son on my health insurance) doesn’t matter. What’s strange to me is that she tells me some of this herself – I don’t know how to react.

My son is doing very, very well. I love going to pick him up, because when I ring the bell I hear him start yelling “It’s Daddy! Mommy, it’s my daddy!” Then he comes running up to me and starts talking a mile a minute. He points out things around us, tells me about what he did in the recent past and tells me every few minutes “Daddy, I missed you”. This last weekend he started asking me if I liked things, like cars we saw, or planes, or his toys. When I’d say I did, he’d tell me “I like them too!” He’s also started asking me if I’m happy, and when I tell him I am, he gets a huge smile on his face.

He met the woman I’m dating, and that went very well, with just a little jealousy every so often. What was really funny was that the first time they met he kept referring to her as “your mommy”. This last time he called her by her first name, which I’m sure will get repeated sooner or later to the Ex. Judging by the fact that she still discusses the possibility of me dating somebody as if it would be adultery to mutual friends, you can bet I’ll be looking forward to that “conversation”.

I don’t think I ever wrote about my last experience with Or, more accurately, my experience with some of the women on Match. One woman seemed to consider me a “backup”, judging by the one or two sentence emails I’d get from her. I got tired of calling her, leaving a message, then having her email me saying she was sorry she missed my call. She wouldn’t call me back, though. Another woman didn’t return my email. For those of you who don’t know Match very well, there is a way to see who’s viewing your profile. She viewed my profile right after I emailed her, then two weeks later viewed it again. I had added another picture or two of me, one’s I think are much better than the pictures I originally had on there. Several days after that I receive an email from her telling me that she just got my original email because she hadn’t been on Match in several weeks. I guess she didn’t know that she showed up as having viewed my profile. She also didn’t seem to realize that she showed up as logged on every so often. I wouldn’t have minded if she’d just been honest – it’s ok if she was talking to somebody else and wanted to see how that went. But lying to me right from the start? That’s just not a good sign.

Christmas this year is going to be much better than last year. I was sick last year, and actually started this blog just before Christmas. It was a hard time because I was sitting in my little apartment, away from my son, my life in major turmoil. I received one Christmas card last year, and it was from my landlady’s 10 year-old niece. This year I’ve been to several holiday parties and it’s already a very good holiday season. It’s amazing to me how quickly life can change. For anybody out there having a rough Christmas, my prescription has always been three movies. It’s a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, and Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Watch them, and remember that, although it might not feel like it, life will get better.

I got a few minutes of access to the internet last night and I opened up bloglines briefly– I’ve got a lot of catch-up reading to do. One blog I read on a regular basis said there were 48 new posts. I should have internet access at home by this weekend, which I’m really looking forward to – it’s hard having no connection at home. I’m glad the post-by-email works – without it I still wouldn’t be able to post. It’s not as good as regular access, but it’s something.