Tuesday, January 10, 2006

What a Weekend...

What a weekend. It’s one of those rare weekends that make you happy you’re going back to work – thankfully, those don’t come very often.

Friday night I went with Curly out for dinner with some of her family to celebrate her mother’s birthday. I was exhausted at the end of the night, so much so that I had trouble climbing the stairs to go to bed. That’s pretty tired.

I got some sleep and got up early to head out to go see my son. I picked him up and drove to my brother’s house. My son slept most of the way there, which was good. He had an ear infection and it was really bothering him.

It was the first family get-together we’d had in a long time. It was a great time, but I think it was a little overwhelming for my son. He sees my brother, his wife and their twin sons regularly, but he hasn’t seen the other two brothers there in a long time. He also hasn’t seen my dad and his wife in a couple of months. He stayed near me most of the time, except when he was running to grab a particularly interesting toy. He’d get down off my lap, run over to the toy, grab it, then run back over to me. It was very funny.

Sunday is when things got ugly. That was the day I was supposed to be able to move the rest of my things out of the condo. The court order specified a three-hour window, in which a third-part would be present and the Ex was required to stay upstairs. The following Sunday would be the rain/snow date.

My brother and I had a very difficult time getting there because it was snowing, and the road conditions and traffic slowed us down significantly. I could have been there by 9:30, but I decided to wait for my brother just so there’d be another witness. The weather made it very difficult, but we got there within the three-hour window, arriving about 11:15.

The first thing I noticed was that her car was running. I thought that was strange, but didn’t think too much of it. We rang the bell, but she didn’t answer the door. We rang it again a couple of minutes later, but still no answer. I went to the neighbor’s house who was supposed to be the third-party, no answer there. After about 15 minutes I used my brother’s phone (since I had lost my cell phone the night before) to call. She didn’t answer.

After about 20 minutes she finally answered the door. She definitely wanted trouble. She claimed that we were too late – she was under the impression that we were supposed to arrive at 9, and that there wasn’t a window. I explained that we were still in the window, and that we wanted to take my things. She then told me that she had told the third-party to leave. When we said she needed to let us get things, she just said that it was too late. She did not want to allow us to get anything.

This pretty much fit with her actions and attitudes that led to this point. She would make all kinds of noise about how badly she wanted everything out, but would make it extremely difficult to actually move it. She was enjoying herself, laughing and smiling the entire time. My brother was getting annoyed – he told her that we could get the police if she wanted, and while she claimed that doing that would be fine, she lost the smile and became a little worried. She said it was too late, and he said that was because she had us out in the cold waiting for 20 minutes. She finally relented – I think she got nervous because she wants to present herself as the victim in everything, and it was clear that he was not seeing her in that light. This is the same brother who saw her slap me across the face several times because she didn’t like the way I was loading the dishwasher.

She decided to make things even more difficult by refusing to go upstairs. She knew neither my brother nor myself were comfortable entering the condo with her present. We argued about it, then I said “I give up” and we started moving things, with me entering the condo as little as possible.

She got more cooperative, but only when it worked in her favor. She decided it was OK for me to leave the king-size mattress and box spring since she could sell it, especially in light of the fact that I planned to cut it up and throw it out if I had to remove it.

Another part of the court order she violated was having all of my property ready. There were several items not present, the most notable being my television set. She claims she’ll have it ready the next time I come.

I have to handle this a certain way. I want to have her email me that it was fine for me to leave the mattress and box spring first. Then I will list the things not ready and tell her I want them ready for the next time I visit. If she doesn’t have them ready, then she will have violated the court order in yet another way. I’ve about had it with her games at this point. If I have to go back to court, I want something from her in writing giving me permission to leave the mattress and box spring. If she thinks I won’t go in to court, she’s very, very wrong.

I had a very bad nightmare last night. In it, the Ex successfully managed to move away with my son. That would be very hard for me (and him). I’d like to think that she wouldn’t try that to “get” me further, but I’ve seen nothing so far that makes me think she’ll ever be reasonable. I was in a horrible mood for most of the morning because of that.

So that’s where things stand so far. If she plays more games and doesn’t do what she’s supposed to do, then I think she’ll be surprised. The court order covers both of us, despite what she thinks. Part of me is actually hoping that she does push it some more – she needs to realize that her actions have consequences – something she doesn’t seem to get right now.